Florida Girl

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2009-03-18T18:11:00.003-04:00

On St. Patrick's Day, as on any school morning, I laid my son's clothes out for him in his room for him to get dressed. This is how he came out- with a big blue sun hat, green lei, his reading medal, & playing the harmonica. I love when my son gets goofy! He wore this garb to school & played his harmonica all the way to class. I wasn't about to stop him.
PS. Yes, he was clean when I sent him to school. I took this pic later that day but I had to bribe him with a dollar to play his harmonica again so I could take a picture.

Not ME Monday!

2009-03-16T16:51:00.006-04:00

Well, ladies, here we go again for another fun round of things we definitely did not do! I have to start writing things down because honestly, I don't remember what I DID NOT do by the time Monday rolls around. But this week one specific thing marked my events:

I DID NOT just sign up on Facebook when I swore I would never get on that thing! Yes, I could have resisted. Yes, I do have all the time in the world for things like that!

I DO NOT love it!

I HAVE NOT stayed up way too late to Facebook almost every night since! I am more responsible than that.

I DID NOT have to roll my windows down & turn the radio up just to get home from work without falling asleep!

No, I AM NOT neglecting my laundry because of it!

Humor!!

2009-03-13T20:50:00.004-04:00

I thought I'd give a stab at Friday funnies. Enjoy! PS. Pause My music.

Hello! Hello! Hello!

2009-03-11T08:25:00.003-04:00

Hello Ladies! I know I dropped off the planet for a while but I'm back into cyberspace- & so glad to be here. My life recently has taken many turns & changed in alot of ways- all for the better. I feel so grateful to the Lord! He never lets me sit stalemate for too long & always knows what I need to stir me up! I'll be sharing with you as I go, I'm sure. I am really looking forward to updating on you & your family, so instead of writing too much today I think I'm gonna pay each of you a long-overue visit. Thanks for not giving up on me!! xoxoxo Jess

Give Thanks

2009-01-31T13:16:00.006-05:00

XEROX is doing something cool: If you go to this website, www.LetsSayThanks.com, you can pick out a thankyou card and XEROX will print it & send it to a soldier serving overseas. It is a neat site with many cards like this one from kids drawings. It's great to do as a family to get our kids involved, too.

I found this quote among many others from our military:

Thank you so much for the post card. It is so nice to receive things in the mail here. Some would not believe it but the simple good feeling of going to the company mail room and the clerk saying "Yes, you have mail" is an uplifting experience. Even if it’s just a letter saying "hi" makes our day! Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers.

- An Army Sergeant

Despite what you feel on the war & stuff, we still cannot deny that our own are sacrificing for our comfort & safety. What they do is honorable. I appreciate them very much. Enjoy! PASS IT ALONG!

Happy Updates

2009-01-28T08:13:00.005-05:00

Good Morning Ladies!
I don't have to work today so I have alot to do, but I wanted to steal a quick minute to tell you a few things. I plan on visiting you all tonight when I settle in - an event I am looking forward to- see you then!

First & most importantly: SHANNON SAYS "HELLO!" I spoke to her over the weekend, & she is doing as well as can be expected. No, she did not say, "I am doing well"... it was actually the opposite... but in light of the fact that they just cut her heart open & she could be doing alot worse, I'd say she's doing well. She is, however, in a great deal of pain still- the clutch-the-pillow-&-shake kind of pain, & the medicines only work to dull it. They had to break her chest bone & pull it back to reach the heart which seems to be what is giving her the most reprocussions. She can barely move because of the pain of the broken bones & tissue injury, which makes every day tasks like pouring a glass of milk impossible (sleeping's tough, too). We don't realize how much we depend on our ability to move our arms, bend, twist & turn until we can't anymore. It will take quite some time for that to heal. Her kids were to be coming home last weekend, & I know she was DYING to see them, but as you can imagine that is going to be a challenge. Her dear mom & sister (& of course her great hubby) are helping to take care of her & the kids but she could use a little love.
If you want to send her an email or ecard then send it to my address & I will fwd it to her- griffinjupiter@aol.com. Shannon DOES read our blogs but she can't type yet so make sure to say hello in your blog, & feel free to pass along this message!

Secondly: Yes, I got the job! I was pretty excited! I started last weekend (just to kick off) so I've been there for 4 days already, & I have to say it is pretty high stress so far. One minute I think I'm doing great & the next minute a bomb drops! I expect that it will get better as things settle into a routine but for me it is all about reading them to get clues into what it is they need from me. The one thing they did say in the beginning is that I was to provide meals, so I've occupied myself alot in the kitchen. I've enjoyed it but I know I am, in a sense, taking over Mrs. K's role, & she knows it, so it makes it tough. It's a darn good thing that I am cooking, though, because that is the only certain thing in my mind & it gives me something to do when I don't know what else there is & I don't wan't Mrs. K to feel like I'm babysitting. I've taken her shopping, we've been for a walk, & talked about her days as a young mom. Though she is still bright & independent, I am discovering the alzhiemers in her more & more as we're together, & I'm still learning how to guide her when she needs it & to let her be as independent as she can be. They are GREAT people, & for that I am glad, but the change is hard for everyone. Lots of things have gone on that I could write about but I'm trying not to reconjure it on my day off- I can feel my stress level rising just writing this. It will just take time- I'll keep you posted as I go.

Have a great day! I'm off to get things done around here!

Interview #3

2009-01-23T14:35:00.003-05:00

I have nothing left. I'm drained. This interview today was super intense. She started out exactly like this:
"So, are you a nurse?"
"No, I said."
"So you must be a "CNA"
"No."
"Any experience doing this?"
"No."
"Then what are you doing here?"

The lady that came today was a home health coordinator & a long time friend of Mr. & Mrs. K. She had only ever put nurses in the role of companion & was a little put off, I think, about the fact that I was even thinking that I could do this. I felt like a sheep-she was the wolf who was tearing me apart & spitting me out. She wasn't mean, persay, but she was serious. She asked me alot of blunt questions that I answered as well as I could. I am feeling that someone, like a nurse, who is trained in this kind of thing would know exactly what her role is with this couple & what they needed each day. She would know all about alzheimers & old people & how to handle situations.
Answer questions for me? Not specifically. It did give me a little better feel for what I might be doing, but there is still so much unknown that will only be found out through trial & error. Yes, I feel a great deal of pressure, yes it is uncertain; but I know myself. I know my personality & my strengths. And I am confident enough to know that I can do this job & do it well. (I actually said that to her. I'm not sure where it came from.)

The interview ended by me telling them that I understand if they need a professional with more qualifications than I. She responded with this: "Let me tell you something. You have heart. I've been doing this for more years than I can count & I've learned that it takes more than a license to make a great companion." Aahhh... a ray of hope!

My head is spinning. I find out tomorrow if I get the job. I hope I sleep tonight. The one thing I know is if the Lord has planned for me to have this job then I will get it- despite the facts.

Interview #2

2009-01-22T21:11:00.004-05:00

Note to self: "Always get coffee for Mr. K when we are in the waiting room."
I've been making mental notes all day in trying to figure out my role with this elderly couple. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, visit yesterdays post.) Did I say this would be difficult? We were in the waiting room to get their bloodwork done & I was making small talk, thinking I'd done a good job so far. That is, until I hear, "If I had an assistant I'd have some coffee by now!" It was a half-joking-but-mostly-serious comment to which I replied, "Yeah, where is she?" We laughed, but you better believe that Mr. K had his coffee with one packet of sugar, in less than 60 seconds.

Question to self: "How do I know whether to respond to her or to the Alzheimers?" They called Mrs. K to go back & I stood to go with her when she turned & said, "no, I can go by myself." Mr. K confirmed that was okay but what do I do if we are alone together? How do I know if she will go wondering the hospital by herself, lost, because I wasn't with her? I know she wants to, but can she, & how do I know. I don't want her to feel as if I'm babysitting her, (remember, this is touchy) but ultimately safety comes first. That was a scary uncertain moment I'm sure I'll face again.

Note to self: Let Mrs. K drive. We were leaving & Mr. K said, "let's test you to see how well you drive", & he handed me the keys. Remember that feeling when you were behind the wheel at age 16 & the goverment official was beside you deciding whether you should get your drivers license or not? That's what I felt like except this time the test would be in my boss's new Lexus. I was silently relieved when Mrs. K snatched the keys from my hand & said, "not in my car!"

Note to self: "Mr. K is a joker but interpret him seriously." My biggest flub-up yet was when we were preparing brunch. The daughter made a fritatta & served it with bagels, to which she had an array of toppings set out for us to choose from. I asked Mr. K what he would like on his bagel & he said, "cream cheese, dead fish & a tomato." (What the heck does that mean?) OK then. I made a quick decision to follow through with his request & put on cream cheese, what smelled rancid enough to be dead fish, & tomato. (Now here I have to tell you that I am not a seafood person so I wouldn't know one dead fish from another if it slapped me in the face!) I put the plate in front of him & he gives me this puzzled look- obviously I've done something wrong. I ask him what that look means when the daughter came to my aid explaining that this was not fish, persay, it is crab from last night, & she points to the other counter where the real fish was. I go to the other counter & bring over some cooked meat wrapped in saran wrap & she says,"no honey, this is lamb chops, you're looking for salmon." Right, okay... I eventually got it right & we all got a laugh out of it. Sort of.

Note to self: "I have big shoes to fill." One of my duties will be to cook & provide meals for them. I learned today that Mrs. K went to a cooking school in Italy, they have a son who owns a restaurant, the daughter follows in their footsteps, & Mr. K enjoys the benefits of his culinary family. As for me, I would be voted off of one of those reality cooking shows after the first challenge. I'll have to rely on my dad's Chicken & dumplins, & my moms pot roast & potatoes for as long as I can. No pressure.

Assessment: First thought, pretty confident. Second thought, scared to death of what I don't know. Can't think about the details, start freaking out.
Plan: Meet again tomorrow with one of his "people" to go over things. (Not sure what this means but maybe it will help.) Keep wowing them with my personality & charm. =0) Trust the Lord.

Note to self: "Breathe."

2009-01-21T22:33:00.003-05:00

I got off of work early & was so excited that I could come home to blog! They asked me to stay late but NO WAY! If they schedule me til 11pm then I don't mind working it, but it's hard to stay on when I've been looking forward to going home early. Sometimes I do, but not tonight. So here I am! YAY!!

There is so much I'd like to blog about & it seems my fingers are typing unusually fast tonight. Maybe the 30 degree temp. is keeping me moving, but I like it. I'm a one finger typer (yes, it's true & I'm embarrassed to admit it) & I make alot of mistakes as I go, so it takes me a really long time to get my words out on the screen. A typing class is on my list of things I'd like to accomplish- but that is a blog for another night.

I want to tell you about my new job! Well, I think my new job. It's not official yet, but it seems promising. I have been searching for a job but I want one that I really enjoy- I don't just want to scan groceries all day & I don't want to clean houses again, but nothing seems to jump out at me. I want a job where I can really use my abilities & where I enjoy going every morning. Something that becomes more to me than just a job that I can do while my son is in school. I've not been sure what that is, but it's getting to the point in our finances that I have to do something- & SOON. A few weeks ago I got this call from a friend of the family telling me about an opportunity she thought would suit me. There are more than a few obstacles in taking on this job, so I had pretty much written it off. She is the kind, though, that, doesn't let things go- thankfully for me- so I checked into it. You know, it just might be what I've been looking for!

I went for an interview today in the home of an elderly couple. I will be their caretaker of sorts. The wife officially has alzhiemers but is in the early stages of the disease. She is just realizing that she is forgetting & not able to do things that she used to do & I can tell it is frustrating her. The husband, I can tell, is under alot of stress about this whole thing. The daughter who is down for a visit is really worried about them & has taken charge of alot in their home, much to the obvious displeasure of her mother. There is alot of tension- it would all be so hard. Their doctor is the one who suggested that they get someone to come in & help them & was the one to set this whole last-minute thing up; so at this point none of us are certain what it is that I need to be doing. I am a pretty easy going person so I don't mind the figure-it-out-as-I-go & make-alot-of-mistakes-in-the-process aspect of it all. I'm up for the challenge! I'm not nieve, though- I know this will be tough at times, & I am a bit nervous about it all. But I've learned in my life that God just seems to drop these kind of odd things into my life for one reason or another (and right when I need them) so I know I can't pass this up. I'm looking forward to what I will learn & what might come from this. I'm looking forward to this new adventure.
Listen to me, I'm talking like I have the job & I don't yet. Tomorrow I go again to take them to get some bloodwork done & I'm not sure what else. I think they just want to spend a bit more time with me before they decide if they like me or not. I will post tomorrow evening to let you know how it goes. Pray for me! I'm nervous!

2009-01-18T00:19:00.002-05:00

I know, I know! It has been almost an entire week since I last posted. How boring! Truth is, I've been struggling all along with this whole thing. I love to blog & I love the friendships I've made with you all. I want so much to visit everyone's site, find new friends, & leave lots of comments. Change up my page, find new music, get lots of neat awards... It would be so great to have 50 or more followers like so many of you have. That's 50 friends & comrades! How fun! In the beginning I was so wrapped up in this, always thinking of what I wanted to write & obsessing over every detail! I didn't care how long it took me. Though I love to blog I don't like how long it demands me to be in front of the computer. I didn't like being obsessed. But I don't like, either, to not be very interested. I am having trouble finding a happy medium. Knowing that I don't want to be at my computer for hours really discourages me from vising everyone & even posting on my own page. It takes the fun out of it, so it's not on my mind as much as I'd like it to be. How do you ladies do it?
One thing I do want to say is that I have 8 followers & I am darn proud of every one of them. You all are so faithful to me even when I am boring, & that kind of love is enough to make a girl cry. I enjoy sharing a bit of myself with you & love getting a peek into your world. I apologize to you for not visiting your sites as much as I would like to visit. You girls are awesome! I love you all.

Disney Trip!

2009-01-12T08:08:00.011-05:00

Over the weekend we took our son to his first trip to Disney World! It was so much fun!! Seeing Disney through his eyes added a new level of excitement to the day. I'm not going to write much (I have one of those dreaded, turn-your-brain-to-mush & make-your-stomach-churn, really painful migraines again), but I thought I'd post a picture or two.
(Question?: Do you take lots of pictures, thinking you are o-so-creative, only to be sorely disappointed when you get them home & look at them? I thought I took lots of great ones but with all that we did, what I captured on camera certainly didn't journal our experience. Oh, well. I think I need to take a photography class & also learn how to do cool stuff on my computer with them. I bet most of you "Martha Stewart" types already know how! I bet you don't go a day before you already have them all nice & pretty in a scrapbook! I only wish I were that put-together.)
.

Open Heart Update

2009-01-08T21:26:00.002-05:00

I know those of you who follow my blog also follow the blog of my best friend, Shannon. So I know you've read her blog where her hubby has updated us on how her surgery did today. I am sooooo very thankful! I just spoke to Shannon's sister & she told me that Shannon is awake now & off the ventilator- another answer to prayer. This means that her heart is doing very well, as they were going to keep her on the anestesia over night if it wasn't. I'm so relieved to know that she doesn't have to be under all night & that she is breathing on her own. Awake is GOOD! She is still groggy but apparently her sense of humor is bright eyed. They said she is in ALOT of pain & will be for a few weeks, so pray for her pain & also that she just continues to do so well. Praise the Lord! I am jumping up & down inside! Praise the Lord!

Open Heart Prayer

2009-01-07T09:38:00.002-05:00

Good Morning, All! I wanted to remind you to stop now & say a prayer for Shannon. If you've been keeping up with her blog, you know that she is having open heart surgery tomorrow morning. She has to be there at 5 a.m. The kids are with grandparents, & she & her husband made the trip to Charleston yesterday to be ready for the morning. Now she's just basically waiting, & I know she's going through alot of feelings right now, as anyone would. Pray for her peace of mind today, & for the doctors tomorrow. It is a 6 hour surgery & I will let you know something as soon as I hear. Thankyou for your friendship & care. I know it means alot to her as it does me. Keep praying! Jessica

New Beginnings

2009-01-05T23:16:00.005-05:00

My hubby snapped this picture on Christmas Eve while we were baking christmas cookies for Santa.

I am soooo sad that my son is going back to school. I have enjoyed him being home so much that I don't want things to change again. I know, I know, he's only really gone for 6 hrs in the day, but back to school also means back to a busier schedule all around. It's just different. This vacation time has made me realize that I need to make the most of enjoying his time home & not be caught up in other less important things. I thank the Lord for he & my hubby who fill my life with laughter & love. I feel so very blessed.

Misery Into Laughter

2009-01-01T15:41:00.007-05:00

Today I started exercising to a Tae-Bo video & my 5 year old decided to join me. He came in dressed in his power ranger costume from last hallowen & tried to imitate Billy Blanks in a tough, kill-the-enemy sort of way, with sound effects & all. "Look how high I can kick, Mom!" "I can really punch!" "Hiiiya!" "I'm tough, huh mom!" Entertainment indeed! It helped me to keep my mind off of how much I didn't want to be doing this.

I began concentrating on the moves & was actually breaking a sweat, when I heard my little power ranger shout,"I'm not made for this!" MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY! I was laughing so hard I was getting cramps in my side. (Actually, that might have been from the crunches.)
Then he plopped down & the couch & started coaching me: "HE SAID double time, Mom, DO DOUBLE TIME!" I am, son. "Go faster, mom, you can do it!" How fast does he expect me to go? "I guess you aren't made for, this either, huh mom." I think he felt sorry for me. He said I could stop whenever I wanted to. Thanks, hon.

After a few minutes of silence from the sidelines I heard giggling; then "You have polka-dots on your undees, mom!" (As if I didn't know. But wait...) "How do you know I have polka-dots?" He turned serious when he said "Mom, you shouldn't ever wear those shorts in public. You can see up 'em when you kick."

My Power Ranger winding down from exercise with a movie & a cheeseburger. Lucky Guy!

Dashing through the snow...

2008-12-30T00:36:00.010-05:00

I love it when my son is home! Now that he is in kindergarten, having him home seems extra special. We have official weekends now! We watched NOGGIN together today, just like we used to do when he was a toddler. It is a rare moment that won't last too much longer, I'm afraid, since he is getting "too cool" for "those baby shows". Dirty Jobs is his favorite show these days, but I'd much rather watch a talking turtle on Noggin than some guy in a sewer. (Gross to me, cool to my boy!)

The other morning we were eating granola bars on the porch swing when I stepped inside for just a minute. When I came back out, this is what I saw:

He was sitting in the recycling bin with his breakfast, singing his heart out to "Jingle Bells." (until, of course, he realized I was there watching him) I love it! I wonder, "What went through his mind that possessed him to run & climb in the recycling bin?" Maybe he was pretending to be in a sleigh, or maybe it just looked like a fun place to sit. Either way, I love his ways & I hope he never outgrows them.

2008-12-28T02:39:00.014-05:00

One of the posts I began writing last week was about this award I got a few weeks ago from Kelly at Our Family Ramblings & Shannon at Sunshine & Open Hearts. Thanks, Ladies! Yes, I know that Christmas is technically over, but it still feels like Christmas around here. And since I didn't get to finish posting this one, I am most certainly going to do it now!! However, the rules of this award state that I am to write 5 things I love about Christmas, but I am changing them to state 5 things that I loved about this Christmas. If I send this award to you, you may also change the rules in this way if you'd like.

Of course with receiving awards, there are some rules that come along with it. For this particular one, the rules are very simple.

They are....You must be a true Christmas lover to receive this award.
The person to whom you give the award must also be in love with Christmas.
You must link back to the person who gave you the award.
You must list 5 things that you love about Christmas. If you can't limit it to 5 things, then keep going till you run out of space! :o)
Pass the award along to as many people as you like. That can be 1 or 45; it's up to you. But, you must pass it on to at least one person in order to keep the Christmas cheer going!
Let your recipients know that you have tagged them by leaving them a comment on their blog.

5 things I loved about this Christmas:
1. Christmas Eve Service at church
2. Finding the perfect tree & decorating it
3. Witnessing the excitement in my son when he talked about the gifts he got daddy & I. He could barely keep it a secret!
4. Christmas Eve Preparations- I had fun shopping for the last minute gift idea, wrapping presents, baking cookies & setting some out for Santa. I loved having communion at the candlelight service- worshiping & reflecting on the reason we were celebrating in the first place- & tucking my son in for bed that night knowing how excited he was for the morning!
5. Spending all day with my in-laws on Christmas Day & with my family today. I LOVE family time!
6. Getting Presents! I'd be lying if I said I didn't get excited over presents!
7. Having my son & hubby home.
8. Getting ideas from the shops I went to this season on how I want to decorate next year- I can't wait!

I am passing this award to Ang at Davisix. I'm also giving it to Alicia at More Than Words and to Kelly at Close to Home. Ladies, I don't remember seeing this award on your blog. So if you'd like to post what you liked best about this Christmas, I'd love to see it! Pass it along if you do!
I'm passing it back to Shannon & Kelly & also to Mimi at He & Me & Three. Even though you gals already posted this award before Christmas, I'd like to see what your MOST FAVORITE thing was about this Christmas in particular. I'd say that you are all true Christmas lovers & deserve to get this award again!
I am also passing this award to anyone else who hasn't received it yet- if you still have some Christmas Spirit left in you! Enjoy! I can't wait to see what you've all written!

Christmas Spirit Leftovers

2008-12-28T00:19:00.013-05:00

Hello Friends!
Merry Christmas!
Do you love Christmas leftovers? Don't you love opening the fridge to find more of the turkey & stuffing & cookies you loved the first time around, only it tastes so much better after the flavors have mulled overnight & all you have to do this time is reheat!

This is what I love about Christmas! Not just the food, but all the other Christmas leftovers. Enjoying the memories & the warm, fuzzy feelings, & having your family home, enjoying the new gifts; & feeling so grateful to the Lord for all you are blessed with. And there is nothing left to do but sit back & enjoy it all!

Christmas gets me all emotional! But it's the events of Christmas, not so much the preparations of the weeks before, that I love best. I'm the kind of person that can't get too excited about Christmas until it gets closer-but my enthusiasm lasts for weeks after the official day is over. I won't take my tree down for a while. I can't bear to part with it yet. (Have you noticed that it smells best after it starts to dry out?) And I'm savoring every moment that my husband & son are home on vacation.

I did try to blog about my Christmas activities all last week but never got to finish one! (It is Christmas after all! Plus it takes me longer than I'd like to admit to write my posts, download pics, visit my fav's, etc, that I don't always post when I intend to. You?) So for the next few days before life goes back to being normal, I am going to write about Christmas love. SO stay tuned!

Glad to be back! Jess

2008-12-20T22:35:00.004-05:00

Today has been one emotional day! I don't know what it is about shopping that wears a person out, but I've had about all I can take. It started out fun- but after driving all around town all day, beating the crowds, not finding what I needed, dealing with a tired toddler & a hubby who can only shop for so long, & coming home practically empty handed- I'm tired & cranky too.

I find it mind boggling that as the stress goes up so does the desire to pig-out. And the more time that goes by before I can get my "fix"- a.k.a, the food that I'm craving- the crankier I get. I just kept thinking about food more & more today as the day went on. Nothing I ate satisfied me- I felt so "hungry" because I wasn't getting what I really wanted. I'm sure that I would have blown it big time if my hubby wasn't around to watch me. I really appreciate the accountability now looking back on the day, but at the time I wished I was shopping alone so I could get my greasy cheeseburger with fries. How immature. I hate that I would so willingly blow everything I have worked so hard for in one stressful afternoon. What happened to the strength & conviction I had only yesterday? I find it overwhelming how quickly it is overcome by a sour mood & the thought of food.

I have recently learned through a devotional that when us food junkies crave something like that it really means our soul is hungry. It means that it is time for us to take our emotions to God, not drown them in a full stomach. This is how food is taking God's place in my life. I realize in writing this & looking back over my day that I have alot to work on. I have alot of attitudes & thoughts to overcome. As each day goes on & I deal with the things that are thrown at me, I don't take note of where my emotions are. It's so easy to detour into the drive-through without realizing what my hunger truly is. What does God mean exactly when he said to "take every thought captive"? Thoughts come & go so quickly, how does one do it?

I just know I'm NOT going back to the way I was. Tomorrow I will just start fresh. I'm scared because I know I will encounter it again & I haven't figured it all out yet. Maybe what I learned now will help me next time around. I'm definitely open to change- I don't like what I'm discovering about myself one bit. Wouldn't it be easier to go on oblivious to it all & be able to drink my frappuccino in bliss? Deep down, though, I guess it really isn't bliss. Bliss will be freedom. And knowing Christ can see His reflection in me.

Thanks for letting me blab on & figure it all out. Thanks for your support- it means alot to me.
~Jess

Heart Warmers

2008-12-20T00:03:00.006-05:00

I don't care what anybody says- I Love snail mail! (Except, of course, when it's a dreaded bill.) There is nothing like opening a package or reading letter from someone you love. It's like tangible feelings.

Today I got a package! It was a gift from Ang for the contest I won recently. I am so excited! It feels like Christmas! Oh yes, it is Christmas! So I unwrap my package to find this (she sent me a sweet card too, but I forgot to put it in the picture):

Isn't it beautiful. I have to say, that girl has taste. So here I sit, blogging to the light of my new candle, & enjoying every minute!

Thank You so much Ang, you're the greatest! You have such a big heart & I am blessed because you've shared it with me. Love, Jess

'Sugarplums'

2008-12-18T22:53:00.007-05:00

"Twas the night before Christmas & all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse..."

Except Me. I should be sleeping but I can't rest my brain. So I decided to get up & blog instead...

I've been laying here steaming over something... & I can ask this because were all women here with the same woes in life...
When you lose weight, where is the first place you lose it from? Yeah, that's what I thought. Me too. I'm not happy about this. I'm excited to be dropping pounds & all, (8.2 to be exact!), but I really didn't want it to be coming from the one place where I could use some extra!! I don't get it. My top half is shrinking when it shouldn't, & my back half still makes that cautionary beeping sound when I back up! If this doesn't stop, I'm going to start tipping over backwards.
I told my husband tonight that my bra felt too loose & you know what he said? I know, honey. He agreed with me! I was hoping for..."No, honey, your mistaken." I would have felt better if he told me that he stretched it out today when Goliath was trampling my flowers & he needed a slingshot. On the positive side, he didn't seem bothered by this problem of mine, & he promised me a trip to Victoria's Secret for a nice new bra. Yeah, ok... that does make me feel better. What a guy!

I think now I'll "nestle all snug in my bed." But please no more "visions of 'sugarplums' dancing in my head.

Soul Hunger

2008-12-15T23:41:00.004-05:00

I read something recently that disturbed me a bit. Maybe because it hit too close to home. It was an advertisement for something. See if you can figure out what it is calling you to:

"It is what you crave on a dreary day and yearn for to help you forget about spurned love or work stress. ...it can make almost any day...better."

Can you guess? What comes to mind when you imagine someone trying to "forget" being rejected by love? What do you think people turn to when they need to drown out stress or pain? What do people crave... what do they need to make it feel all better?

Alcohol is the first thing that comes to my mind. Drugs? What else? (Blogging? lol) Those of us who have never used these things to satisfy our souls will never understand the intense cravings for the substance that will make it better.

Here is the full ad: "Take Comfort"

"It's what you crave on a dreary day and yearn for to help forget about spurned love or work stress. It's the FOOD of childhood... & it can make almost any day feel a little bit better. TURN TO our soothing comfort FOODS WHEN YOUR SOUL NEEDS NOURISHMENT."

Comfort Foods. Now, that's not so bad. It makes you feel all warm & fuzzy inside just thinking about it. And you aren't even looking at these pictures! Warm bread with whipped butter, mashed potatoes & gravy, macaroni & cheese with a crusty top, chocolate cakes with creme filling... is your mouth watering yet? Have the cravings started? Yes, go ahead- I'll wait for you to make a quick run to the pantry.

So what is the difference between using alcohol or using food to "feel better"? Not much, really. Drugs are outlawed, alcohol is frowned upon, but food is acceptable- even worshiped.

My journey began years ago with the thought that I needed to lose some weight. And it has come to the place where I realize just how addicted to food I really am. It would be great if a thought in the right direction took off a pound or two- but then there would be no opportunities to struggle, & fail, & for God to pick you up & shake you loose of the things that take His place. This is the thorn in my flesh. It sounds so lighthearted- we all love comfort foods. But I can't begin to tell you how dark & troublesome this is for me, & what it has produced in my life. It has me in chains, & God has asked me to give it up. It is so hard. I have made some decisions & set myself on a "road to recovery", but already after one week I can feel my resolve beginning to wane. This is the struggle that I'd like to share with you. I will probably blog about it a few more times in the beginning to cover a little more, but after that only now & then. There are obviously alot of other great things in life to blog about; & while this is something that I need to focus on, I don't want to get all "gloom & doom" about it either.

So, here it is in a nutshell. Thanks for listening. Please be sure to check back in now & then, & don't forget to leave a comment when you do. Thanks!!!

From my heart to yours, Jess

I'm Not Dead

2008-12-14T23:48:00.003-05:00

Wow! I can't believe I've been away for so long! I only posted twice last week- what a snooze! I feel badly for all my followers, esp. the new ones who have been so generous to add me to their list & have probably been checking in. Don't give up on me yet! I have had a rough week full of struggles & decisions, not to mention that it's the holidays.
I sit here staring at my screen not knowing what to write. I could write about Christmas but I think I will save that for next week. I have a one-track mind. If there is something that I am really focused on, every other thought or event has to get stored way back or I won't be able to keep on track with the first thing. (This drives me crazy!) If I thought hard enough, I could drum up something great to write about & even produce a new picture or two, but I think I need to get this off my chest so that next weeks blogging can be more eventful.
I am hesitant to open this can of worms. I don't really want to bore anyone- is this the kind of material that people just glaze over? I can't expect total strangers to understand or even care. But this blog is supposed to be about me & my crazy life, right? I do understand if you find it boring, but I'm hoping that by blogging about my journey I can get a little support from the few of you who can relate; and maybe it will be easier to get through the rough times & keep focus if I talk about it now & then.

Tune in tomorrow to get the full scoop. I am not going to blog about it now. It is very late & I have a full day ahead of me tomorrow so I'd better head to bed. The Survivor finale was on tonight & I watched all 2 hours of it! I am not a big tv watcher, nor a die hard survivor fan, but I really got into it this season. (Probably because I can TIVO it now so I don't miss any episodes when I'm at work. Hurray for newfangled technology that I'll never understand!!) And hurray for Bob!! =o)
GOODNIGHT.

2008-12-10T08:34:00.003-05:00

I want to send a hello & thank you to my gracious follower & friend, LORI. She does not have a blog, but she is my most faithful follower. (She is always reminding me when I need an update.) She is one of those girls that "gets" me.

Lori, thanks so much. It means alot to me. There is no one else that I would rather level the entire store with than you!! I'm glad you're my friend.

Not Me!

2008-12-08T10:08:00.000-05:00

I DID NOT neglect laundry so long that my husband finally declared that he was washing his own clothes. And he did.

I DID NOT wipe the spots off the front of Friday's uniform shirt so my son could wear it to school today.

(this is getting ridiculous)

I DID NOT climb back into bed this morning to moan & groan to my hubby about how cold it was outside. I did not put my cold feet on him & think it was funny- that would be insensitive.

I DID NOT convince him to wear long-johns to work today. He did not march back inside to take them off when we walked out & it actually was quite warm.

I DID NOT take the back roads to McDonalds because I didn't want someone I know to drive by & see me there. I'm supposed to be on a diet.

I DID NOT use my "spidey-sense" to find our way to a mall we've never been to before. The lady at the drugstore counter did not roll her eyes at me when I stopped to ask for directions. No, I was not lost- my spidey-sense brought me here!

(I AM NOT sweating right now because the heat is still on in my house.)

I AM NOT IN LOVE with "Not Me" Mondays!

Little Things, Big Things

2008-12-06T21:17:00.000-05:00

This blog is coming directly to you from..... you guessed it....My New Laptop!! Yes, it's true! This one was totally free! I'm not kidding you! I'm so excited I can hardly stand it! (Can you tell by how many exclamation points I'm using?!) God is so amazing! He's alive!-in case you had any doubts. (Those of you who have not been following my blog must know that I'd asked God for one recently. See esp. last Monday's blog)
I got a call from one of my husband's customers saying that she'd cleaned out her closets to get ready for holiday company & she had some stuff I might like for our son: along with a laptop that wasn't "really worth mentioning because it's so slow...so, nevermind about that." NEVERMIND!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I tried to play it cool. "Oh, OK, I'll take a look at it."
Well, I certainly don't know what it is that I was supposed to be looking at, but I knew it was a laptop, & I KNEW it was an answer to prayer. I couldn't help but be excited! I wanted to blog right there! "Oh, yeah, the stuff for my son..." God is so awesome! (FYI: I'm not very good at playing it cool. Never take me car shopping.)
She wasn't kidding about this computer being slow, but I was willing to endure anything to be able to blog whenever my little heart desires. After I picked it up, my hubby & I took it to a computer store (yeah, my hubby's awesome, too) to see what they could do for it. When they opened it up they all gathered around it & laughed as if it should be next to the cross-eyed elephant in a circus act or something. "Hey, I'm proud of this thing." When I told them it was free they changed their tune & got right to work on making it like new. Turns out it had almost 40 viruses & a whole bunch of stuff on it that I didn't need! $29.99 later, it runs like a gem!

I don't know why God did this for me. I certainly don't deserve it. A laptop... let's face it... it certainly isn't up up there on the list of really important things. There are alot more urgent things in this life to be praying about. I love knowing, though, that He hears the small prayers that come from our hearts. Isaiah 62:4 just came to mind: "The Lord delights in you." I make God smile? Cool thought. I guess it's similar to the smiles I get hearing my son in his room having so much fun with the $.99 car I just gave him. The depth of love & delight that He has for me. It's simple, but so much bigger. I can't wrap my brain around it. But I'm glad for it. Thankyou, Lord, for the little/big things.

(I like this one, too)
Ephesians 3:18 & 19 "That you may be able to comprehend what is the breadth, & length, & depth, & height; and to know the love of Christ, which passes understanding, that you might be filled with all the fulness of God."

Craziness

2008-12-03T10:32:00.000-05:00

Ang, at Davisix, this one is for you. I thought you'd get a kick out of this: The other day I tried to put you on my "Blogs I Follow" list & what I got was Davisixxxxxxxx.

AAAAHHHH!

It was spanish so I couldn't read what it said but I'm pretty sure that all those X's couldn't have been good. It said he had one follower- I think that's me. I clicked the "hide my list" button so that noone would see that & think I followed porn. It took me a few days to realize that the little trash can symbol meant I could delete it. When you see YOURSELF on my "Blogs I Follow" list, you will know I got it right this time. He, He.

And for all of you who are reading this, make sure to check up on Ang at Davisix. (How do I link?) She is having a contest soon & knowing Ang it should be pretty good. Maybe it's those tampon slippers! =o)

Another Question: How do I change the time on my blog? It's 3 hours off. No, I really don't blog at 4am. I'm not that addicted. It seems like I had other problems with my blog but I can't think of what they are right now.

Do any of you get Migraines?I got one after our Thanksgiving trip & it has lasted for 4 days! UGH! My brain turns to mush & it hurts just to think.

That's why I haven't blogged much lately. I'm really not that boring. I wanted to tell you about my Thanksgiving, but by the time I get around too it'll be old-hat. I hate that I let such an important holiday go by without talking about it. (It's unusual for me to think that I didn't talk enough.) I did fill in my profile & added a few other things, so if you haven't checked it out yet then please do so. I have been tagged by Kelly at Our Family Ramblings, so I will be following up on that. I will be tagging some of you!!!!!

Oh, and make sure to pray for Shannon at Sunshine & Open Hearts, & Amy at Our Daily Blessing... Life. Both of them need our prayers & support right now. Check out their sites & drop them a note if you haven't already.

Well, I'll be back later. My mom is visiting me today. YEAH!! ( I can tell I'm feeling better today=o) )

Have a GREAT DAY!!

To Shannon

2008-12-02T10:47:00.000-05:00

I wanted to send a note to my BFF, Shannon, at Sunshine & Open Hearts. She's going through alot right now.

SHANNON, My heart is with you. I wish I was. I wish we could have tea, & cry together. But since I can't here is a little bit of my heart sent to you. Love, Jess

Patience

2008-12-01T16:12:00.000-05:00

I bought a laptop!!

But then I returned it. Was it awesome? YES. So, what's the problem? I couldn't do it. As I was using it I felt rebuked. I knew in my heart that the Lord was asking me why I went out & bought a laptop when I already prayed for one. Oh, boy. It was hard to enjoy it.

Patience might be a virtue but it sure is difficult.

(I'd like to give 2 thumbs up to the people at my local Best Buy. They were awesome! They really could have been curt with me for returning the thing. I love cheerful cashiers!)

"Kill the Beast!"

2008-11-30T10:57:00.000-05:00

Is it Wednesday yet? I feel wordless. I've had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend but I feel pretty drained. My house is a mess, I feel a bit tired & I'm borderline irritable. I think it's a combination of PMS & my whirlwind weekend- oh, yeah, & the fact that I don't want to face my house. I've been wandering around here trying to find something else to do- nothing is striking my fancy. This is the time when I have to turn on some peppy music & just get cleaning, & know that I'll feel better when it's done.
So here I go charging onto the battlefront with guns blazing! I'll be back here when my mission is accomplished & I feel less whiney.
Why does cleaning have to be such an emotional issue?

Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T00:47:00.000-05:00

I just got home from work & I wanted to write a bit before I went to bed. I know it's not Thanksgiving Day yet (well, technically yes-it's after midnight) but I know that tomorrow will be busy from minute one. I also know I'll be pining to blog in the morning & I can't so I figured I'd get it out now.
I wanted to wish all of you a merry Thanksgiving Day!! I am very thankful to have "met" all of you. I'm glad to share in this circle of sisterhood. I'm thinking of each of you, wondering whether you're blogging, sleeping, or trying to finish those last minute preparations. My prayers & thoughts are with you.
I am going out of town til Saturday. I am going to try to find a computer to steal away if I can. (Is that rude?) If I can't I will be back here on Saturday with -hopefully- some stories to tell. I can't wait to see how you all spent your holiday!
LOTS OF LOVE, Jessica

No More Road Rage

2008-11-26T07:58:00.000-05:00

I so want to vent about my shopping trip yesterday, but I don't have much time right now, so I'll put that one off til later. Yesterday after school my son & I were running errands & the traffic was CRAZY! Some guy in a truck cut me off & pulled in front of me & this is what I heard from the booster seat (imagine this with a little 5 year old's voice) -
"MOM! LOOK what that guy just did to you!! He wasn't tinking about other peopwe. I bet he needs Jesus in his hawt. "
It got quiet for a minute then I heard: "Deaw Jesus, ..." he said a prayer for this guy.

Another lesson from my little one.

Monday In Motion

2008-11-24T10:09:00.000-05:00

This is my first NOT ME MONDAY!! I have to say that Monday is already in full swing.

I DID NOT... turn off my alarm & fall back asleep.

I DID NOT... open the dryer this morning to find red crayon melted on every one of my son's school uniforms. No, I did not forget to check his pockets before I washed & dried them. I did not put a sticky note on my son that said "yes, my clothes are clean."

I DID NOT... melt cheddar cheese on his bagel this morning because I forgot to buy cream cheese to go with it.

I DID NOT... run around like a crazy woman this morning trying to find the twenty dollars I misplaced. I did not set it down without noticing where when I realized my dog was next door pestering my o-so-perfect neighbors.

I DID NOT... have to go to the office at school today because my son was over an hour late. That would be embarrassing.

I DID NOT... I did not stop on the way home to pick 2 buckets of paint out of someone's trash pile because they would look great in my living room. I did not stop again to load 2 dozen pavers into my van from someone else's pile. I was not bouncing up & down with joy over my find because paint & pavers are usually so expensive.

I DID NOT... call a bunch of pest control companies this morning to ask if my name was in their computer, because I was looking for the one I used before. I would have filed all that info, & would not have misplaced it.

I DID NOT... purchase this cute miniature version of a level at the hardware store yesterday. (You know-a level- that tool with the bubbles in it that tells you what straight is.) I did not think that if I put it on my keys & saw it often, then maybe it would somehow help me to keep my head on straight.

ME & MY LEVEL

Innocence

2008-11-23T08:34:00.000-05:00

I spent the day on Friday in my son's Kindergarten classroom. We had a Thanksgiving meal with all the kids & parents together, & then we helped the kids make some Thanksgiving related crafts. It was a great time! Before we ate the teacher asked the kids to say what they were thankful for. This is my son's response: MY PARENTS & PUMPKIN PIE!

( I was glad he didn't just say pumpkin pie. My heart was warmed that he did have me on his mind too! :o) But pumpkin pie has been on his mind all morning.
As we were serving dinner I was standing there watching him, snapping pictures, & this is the chain of events that occurred:

"UMMM, Pumpkin Pie!!...."

"Yes, That's what I want... Pumpkin Pie...."

"What!! You mean I have to eat dinner before dessert?"...
They told him he couldn't have his pumpkin pie until he ate all his food. Talk about DISSAPOINTMENT!!

After lunch, we began making crafts. I was helping all the kids make Indian faces out of ZooPals plates (you know, the kids plates with animal faces on the front & the ears that stick out of the top). We turned the plates upside down so the ears were at the bottom. We painted the face on the big plate part & the two little "ears" were to be hands at the bottom. Can you picture this? Ok... I helped my son paint & create the face & while he finished I was helping other kids. When I came back, to help him with the hands, this is what I saw: (Pay close attention to the "upsidedown ears", the circles with dots in the middle)

AAAHHH!! I tried real hard to cover it up by trying to draw fingers over it (hence, the lines). I laughed & laughed, but was a bit embarrassed that other people saw it. When I looked at my son, he had a puzzled look on his face. I think he was embarrassed too, but he didn't understand why. You see, to him it simply made sense. "No, mommy, hands don't go up there." Wow... the innocence of a child. Untainted by the world's thinking. It revealed my own immaturity & I felt badly that I had made such a big deal out of it. I wonder what other thoughts & attitudes are not as God intended.
This verse makes total sense to me now: Mark 10:14 (Jesus is speaking) "...Let the little CHILDREN come unto me & forbid them not, for SUCH IS THE KINGDOM OF GOD."

Big Burly Service Guys

2008-11-19T22:26:00.000-05:00

Do you ever get nervous when you are home alone & you have service men come to do some sort of work in your house? I do. For all I know it could be a potentially bad situation. I always try to look as unattractive as possible.
A few days ago I called to see if I could get wireless internet at my house (I did tell you I was praying for a laptop, right?), & the next thing I know I was ordering u-verse- some wireless tv, internet, & phone package. I guess it saves me some money. I learned more about the man I was ordering it from than I did the actual service, but I figure it will come in handy in case I ever wanted to carry my 32" television around the house.
So this morning a big burly service guy knocks on my door to change the wiring for my new system. I'm feeling reeaallyy nervous about this, not only because I'm home alone but because I know nothing about what I've gotten myself into. "They have to change all my wiring? Oh, boy... Can't they just flip a switch? If this doesn't work I'm in deep doodoo." I then tried to call Sunshine to get it all of my mind & when I picked up the phone it was dead- he must have turned it all off. At that moment I felt like the lady in scary movies that frantically picks up the phone to call for help & there's no dial tone! I'm feeling a bit vulnerable. So I go to the window to see where the service man is & I see Big Burly Service Man #2 get out of another truck. "Oh, great. What do they need him for?" As I' m surveying the scene, Big Burly Service Man #3 pulls up & gets out. "This is getting ridiculous!"
For the next 5 hours (yes, 5) I had 3 Big Burly Service Men in & out of my house, on my roof, in my attic, up my telephone poles, & drilling holes into my walls. Under any other circumstance I might have found this delightful, but this seems like alot of work for a laptop I don't even own yet. And yes, they all know I'm home alone with no dial tone.
So I head to the kitchen to wash up some dishes & face the fuzzy creature growing in my pot, & I begin to pray. Right away God brings some verses to my mind. Verses that I often read to my son when he is frightened:

Psalms 3:3&6 For thou, O LORD, are a shield for me... I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set themselves against me & surrounded me.

Psalms18:6 In my distress I called upon the LORD & cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple & my cry came before his ears. (This whole chapter is pretty amazing! It goes on to say how God gets angry, fights for us, & saves us from our trouble- just as a father would instinctively do for his own child!)

Psalms34:4&7 I sought the LORD & he heard me, & delivered me from all my fears. The angel of the LORD encamps all around those that fear him, & delivers them.

Psalms 36:7 How precious is your lovingkindness, O God, that the children of men put their trust under the shadow of your wings.

God's word is alive!! My nervousness was gone & I wasn't afraid. I was still uncertain about whether my old computer would hook up to the new system (I prayed about that, too), but I was confident that my father in heaven heard my distress signal & nestled me under his protection. I thought about what I would do for my own son. How much greater is his love for me? I wonder what God rescues us and our children from in this world that we don't even know about. I wonder how things would go for me in my life if I had not trusted him for my salvation & put my life in his care. I feel badly for those who have not gotten under this umbrella. If you know someone who needs Christ stop & say a prayer for them now. If you are reading this & you are not sure yourself, send me a note & we'll chat.
This was totally not what I intended to write. Though writing about it definitely helps me to see how amazing God is instead of it going on by as usual. And for the record, yes, my computer hooked up fine in the end. Praise the Lord!!

Sorry, All

2008-11-19T16:42:00.000-05:00

My computer was down all day today. It's working now, in just enough time to write this little bit cause I head off to work in just a few. I'll get it together, I promise. Thanks to all you faithful ones who stopped in. I hope you had a great day, too.

To Blog or Not To Blog?

2008-11-18T10:51:00.000-05:00

Have any of you ever woken up when it's still dark outside & wanted to get up to start blogging? This can't be happening. My husband kept asking me all morning what was wrong. Nothing, honest. (Bless his heart.) When I finally asked him to stop asking me that, he said that I've been walking around with this blank stare on my face, like I'm deep in thought. Oh, that...well... actually, yes...Um... I hated to admit that I was obsessing over my blog page.
I wanted to blog sooo bad. I want to dive into the bloggy world, see what there is that I can put on my page, read everyone else's blogs, download all my pictures, bare my soul to the world... yet I have so much to do today. So here I am, hoping that if I can write just a little then that will suffice until the end of the day; & figuring that if I can check most of the things off my list today, then it will free me up for tomorrow. I'm dying here. I must log off now.

Hallelujah!!

2008-11-18T08:43:00.000-05:00

It is cold out today!! It is one of those rare days in Florida when I get to wear my favorite sweater. It's so beautiful!! The sun is shining & it's COLD. Hallelujah! I hope you all have a beautiful day, too.

Hello World!!

2008-11-17T12:28:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my blog!! I am an old-fashioned kind of girl and I am waaayyy behind the times in the computer world. It's sad, really. My good friend, Sunshine & Open Hearts, has been nagging me (yes, Sunshine, nagging :0) ) to get online to discover what it is that I'm missing. I finally read her blog, & through the laughter & tears I decided to start my own- that was over two weeks ago. I am very excited about meeting new friends & being able to share my heart with you, though I am finally getting the nerve to start. I don't know why I am so nervous about this - uncharted territory, I guess. Actually, if I am to be completely honest with you, I have to admit that the part about becoming addicted scares me. I hear that wives neglect their children & put off washing dishes to get their daily blogging fix. I know I'm in for an adventure, & I figure I'm not that good at getting the dishes done anyway. There are alot of things, though, that I'd like to improve within myself, & goals I'd like to set & actually reach; so I'm hoping that blogging everyday helps me to figure it all out & to become the woman I'd really like to be. (More on that later) Please be patient with me as my blog remains under construction. As soon as I figure out how to put pictures & stuff on here, I will be able to show you myself & my family, & can personalize it a bit more. I wanted to fill in the About Me portion, but setting this up has taken me all morning & it's time for me to pick up my son from school. Once he gets home, it's "game on" until his bedtime, when I will then happily relinquish my computer rights to my hard-working husband. I've already prayed for a laptop. (Uh, oh. Is that a pre-addiction symptom?) Well, I am looking forward to "meeting" all of you. Hello World!!