Evening, & morning, & noon, will I pray, & cry aloud: & He shall hear my voice. Psalms 55:17

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Dashing through the snow...


I love it when my son is home! Now that he is in kindergarten, having him home seems extra special. We have official weekends now! We watched NOGGIN together today, just like we used to do when he was a toddler. It is a rare moment that won't last too much longer, I'm afraid, since he is getting "too cool" for "those baby shows". Dirty Jobs is his favorite show these days, but I'd much rather watch a talking turtle on Noggin than some guy in a sewer. (Gross to me, cool to my boy!)

The other morning we were eating granola bars on the porch swing when I stepped inside for just a minute. When I came back out, this is what I saw:


He was sitting in the recycling bin with his breakfast, singing his heart out to "Jingle Bells." (until, of course, he realized I was there watching him) I love it! I wonder, "What went through his mind that possessed him to run & climb in the recycling bin?" Maybe he was pretending to be in a sleigh, or maybe it just looked like a fun place to sit. Either way, I love his ways & I hope he never outgrows them.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

One of the posts I began writing last week was about this award I got a few weeks ago from Kelly at Our Family Ramblings & Shannon at Sunshine & Open Hearts. Thanks, Ladies! Yes, I know that Christmas is technically over, but it still feels like Christmas around here. And since I didn't get to finish posting this one, I am most certainly going to do it now!! However, the rules of this award state that I am to write 5 things I love about Christmas, but I am changing them to state 5 things that I loved about this Christmas. If I send this award to you, you may also change the rules in this way if you'd like.


Of course with receiving awards, there are some rules that come along with it. For this particular one, the rules are very simple.
They are....You must be a true Christmas lover to receive this award.
The person to whom you give the award must also be in love with Christmas.
You must link back to the person who gave you the award.
You must list 5 things that you love about Christmas. If you can't limit it to 5 things, then keep going till you run out of space! :o)
Pass the award along to as many people as you like. That can be 1 or 45; it's up to you. But, you must pass it on to at least one person in order to keep the Christmas cheer going!
Let your recipients know that you have tagged them by leaving them a comment on their blog.

5 things I loved about this Christmas:
1. Christmas Eve Service at church
2. Finding the perfect tree & decorating it
3. Witnessing the excitement in my son when he talked about the gifts he got daddy & I. He could barely keep it a secret!
4. Christmas Eve Preparations- I had fun shopping for the last minute gift idea, wrapping presents, baking cookies & setting some out for Santa. I loved having communion at the candlelight service- worshiping & reflecting on the reason we were celebrating in the first place- & tucking my son in for bed that night knowing how excited he was for the morning!
5. Spending all day with my in-laws on Christmas Day & with my family today. I LOVE family time!
6. Getting Presents! I'd be lying if I said I didn't get excited over presents!
7. Having my son & hubby home.
8. Getting ideas from the shops I went to this season on how I want to decorate next year- I can't wait!


I am passing this award to Ang at Davisix. I'm also giving it to Alicia at More Than Words and to Kelly at Close to Home.
Ladies, I don't remember seeing this award on your blog. So if you'd like to post what you liked best about this Christmas, I'd love to see it! Pass it along if you do!
I'm passing it back to Shannon & Kelly & also to Mimi at He & Me & Three. Even though you gals already posted this award before Christmas, I'd like to see what your MOST FAVORITE thing was about this Christmas in particular. I'd say that you are all true Christmas lovers & deserve to get this award again!
I am also passing this award to anyone else who hasn't received it yet- if you still have some Christmas Spirit left in you! Enjoy! I can't wait to see what you've all written!

Christmas Spirit Leftovers

Hello Friends!
Merry Christmas!
Do you love Christmas leftovers? Don't you love opening the fridge to find more of the turkey & stuffing & cookies you loved the first time around, only it tastes so much better after the flavors have mulled overnight & all you have to do this time is reheat!

This is what I love about Christmas! Not just the food, but all the other Christmas leftovers. Enjoying the memories & the warm, fuzzy feelings, & having your family home, enjoying the new gifts; & feeling so grateful to the Lord for all you are blessed with. And there is nothing left to do but sit back & enjoy it all!

Christmas gets me all emotional! But it's the events of Christmas, not so much the preparations of the weeks before, that I love best. I'm the kind of person that can't get too excited about Christmas until it gets closer-but my enthusiasm lasts for weeks after the official day is over. I won't take my tree down for a while. I can't bear to part with it yet. (Have you noticed that it smells best after it starts to dry out?) And I'm savoring every moment that my husband & son are home on vacation.

I did try to blog about my Christmas activities all last week but never got to finish one! (It is Christmas after all! Plus it takes me longer than I'd like to admit to write my posts, download pics, visit my fav's, etc, that I don't always post when I intend to. You?) So for the next few days before life goes back to being normal, I am going to write about Christmas love. SO stay tuned!

Glad to be back! Jess

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Today has been one emotional day! I don't know what it is about shopping that wears a person out, but I've had about all I can take. It started out fun- but after driving all around town all day, beating the crowds, not finding what I needed, dealing with a tired toddler & a hubby who can only shop for so long, & coming home practically empty handed- I'm tired & cranky too.

I find it mind boggling that as the stress goes up so does the desire to pig-out. And the more time that goes by before I can get my "fix"- a.k.a, the food that I'm craving- the crankier I get. I just kept thinking about food more & more today as the day went on. Nothing I ate satisfied me- I felt so "hungry" because I wasn't getting what I really wanted. I'm sure that I would have blown it big time if my hubby wasn't around to watch me. I really appreciate the accountability now looking back on the day, but at the time I wished I was shopping alone so I could get my greasy cheeseburger with fries. How immature. I hate that I would so willingly blow everything I have worked so hard for in one stressful afternoon. What happened to the strength & conviction I had only yesterday? I find it overwhelming how quickly it is overcome by a sour mood & the thought of food.

I have recently learned through a devotional that when us food junkies crave something like that it really means our soul is hungry. It means that it is time for us to take our emotions to God, not drown them in a full stomach. This is how food is taking God's place in my life. I realize in writing this & looking back over my day that I have alot to work on. I have alot of attitudes & thoughts to overcome. As each day goes on & I deal with the things that are thrown at me, I don't take note of where my emotions are. It's so easy to detour into the drive-through without realizing what my hunger truly is. What does God mean exactly when he said to "take every thought captive"? Thoughts come & go so quickly, how does one do it?

I just know I'm NOT going back to the way I was. Tomorrow I will just start fresh. I'm scared because I know I will encounter it again & I haven't figured it all out yet. Maybe what I learned now will help me next time around. I'm definitely open to change- I don't like what I'm discovering about myself one bit. Wouldn't it be easier to go on oblivious to it all & be able to drink my frappuccino in bliss? Deep down, though, I guess it really isn't bliss. Bliss will be freedom. And knowing Christ can see His reflection in me.

Thanks for letting me blab on & figure it all out. Thanks for your support- it means alot to me.
~Jess

Heart Warmers

I don't care what anybody says- I Love snail mail! (Except, of course, when it's a dreaded bill.) There is nothing like opening a package or reading letter from someone you love. It's like tangible feelings.

Today I got a package! It was a gift from Ang for the contest I won recently. I am so excited! It feels like Christmas! Oh yes, it is Christmas! So I unwrap my package to find this (she sent me a sweet card too, but I forgot to put it in the picture):


Isn't it beautiful. I have to say, that girl has taste. So here I sit, blogging to the light of my new candle, & enjoying every minute!

Thank You so much Ang, you're the greatest! You have such a big heart & I am blessed because you've shared it with me. Love, Jess

Thursday, December 18, 2008

'Sugarplums'

"Twas the night before Christmas & all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse..."

Except Me. I should be sleeping but I can't rest my brain. So I decided to get up & blog instead...

I've been laying here steaming over something... & I can ask this because were all women here with the same woes in life...
When you lose weight, where is the first place you lose it from? Yeah, that's what I thought. Me too. I'm not happy about this. I'm excited to be dropping pounds & all, (8.2 to be exact!), but I really didn't want it to be coming from the one place where I could use some extra!! I don't get it. My top half is shrinking when it shouldn't, & my back half still makes that cautionary beeping sound when I back up! If this doesn't stop, I'm going to start tipping over backwards.
I told my husband tonight that my bra felt too loose & you know what he said? I know, honey. He agreed with me! I was hoping for..."No, honey, your mistaken." I would have felt better if he told me that he stretched it out today when Goliath was trampling my flowers & he needed a slingshot. On the positive side, he didn't seem bothered by this problem of mine, & he promised me a trip to Victoria's Secret for a nice new bra. Yeah, ok... that does make me feel better. What a guy!

I think now I'll "nestle all snug in my bed." But please no more "visions of 'sugarplums' dancing in my head.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Soul Hunger

I read something recently that disturbed me a bit. Maybe because it hit too close to home. It was an advertisement for something. See if you can figure out what it is calling you to:
"It is what you crave on a dreary day and yearn for to help you forget about spurned love or work stress. ...it can make almost any day...better."
Can you guess? What comes to mind when you imagine someone trying to "forget" being rejected by love? What do you think people turn to when they need to drown out stress or pain? What do people crave... what do they need to make it feel all better?
Alcohol is the first thing that comes to my mind. Drugs? What else? (Blogging? lol) Those of us who have never used these things to satisfy our souls will never understand the intense cravings for the substance that will make it better.

Here is the full ad: "Take Comfort"
"It's what you crave on a dreary day and yearn for to help forget about spurned love or work stress. It's the FOOD of childhood... & it can make almost any day feel a little bit better. TURN TO our soothing comfort FOODS WHEN YOUR SOUL NEEDS NOURISHMENT."
Comfort Foods. Now, that's not so bad. It makes you feel all warm & fuzzy inside just thinking about it. And you aren't even looking at these pictures! Warm bread with whipped butter, mashed potatoes & gravy, macaroni & cheese with a crusty top, chocolate cakes with creme filling... is your mouth watering yet? Have the cravings started? Yes, go ahead- I'll wait for you to make a quick run to the pantry.

So what is the difference between using alcohol or using food to "feel better"? Not much, really. Drugs are outlawed, alcohol is frowned upon, but food is acceptable- even worshiped.

My journey began years ago with the thought that I needed to lose some weight. And it has come to the place where I realize just how addicted to food I really am. It would be great if a thought in the right direction took off a pound or two- but then there would be no opportunities to struggle, & fail, & for God to pick you up & shake you loose of the things that take His place. This is the thorn in my flesh. It sounds so lighthearted- we all love comfort foods. But I can't begin to tell you how dark & troublesome this is for me, & what it has produced in my life. It has me in chains, & God has asked me to give it up. It is so hard. I have made some decisions & set myself on a "road to recovery", but already after one week I can feel my resolve beginning to wane. This is the struggle that I'd like to share with you. I will probably blog about it a few more times in the beginning to cover a little more, but after that only now & then. There are obviously alot of other great things in life to blog about; & while this is something that I need to focus on, I don't want to get all "gloom & doom" about it either.

So, here it is in a nutshell. Thanks for listening. Please be sure to check back in now & then, & don't forget to leave a comment when you do. Thanks!!!

From my heart to yours, Jess

Sunday, December 14, 2008

I'm Not Dead

Wow! I can't believe I've been away for so long! I only posted twice last week- what a snooze! I feel badly for all my followers, esp. the new ones who have been so generous to add me to their list & have probably been checking in. Don't give up on me yet! I have had a rough week full of struggles & decisions, not to mention that it's the holidays.
I sit here staring at my screen not knowing what to write. I could write about Christmas but I think I will save that for next week. I have a one-track mind. If there is something that I am really focused on, every other thought or event has to get stored way back or I won't be able to keep on track with the first thing. (This drives me crazy!) If I thought hard enough, I could drum up something great to write about & even produce a new picture or two, but I think I need to get this off my chest so that next weeks blogging can be more eventful.
I am hesitant to open this can of worms. I don't really want to bore anyone- is this the kind of material that people just glaze over? I can't expect total strangers to understand or even care. But this blog is supposed to be about me & my crazy life, right? I do understand if you find it boring, but I'm hoping that by blogging about my journey I can get a little support from the few of you who can relate; and maybe it will be easier to get through the rough times & keep focus if I talk about it now & then.

Tune in tomorrow to get the full scoop. I am not going to blog about it now. It is very late & I have a full day ahead of me tomorrow so I'd better head to bed. The Survivor finale was on tonight & I watched all 2 hours of it! I am not a big tv watcher, nor a die hard survivor fan, but I really got into it this season. (Probably because I can TIVO it now so I don't miss any episodes when I'm at work. Hurray for newfangled technology that I'll never understand!!) And hurray for Bob!! =o)
GOODNIGHT.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I want to send a hello & thank you to my gracious follower & friend, LORI. She does not have a blog, but she is my most faithful follower. (She is always reminding me when I need an update.) She is one of those girls that "gets" me.

Lori, thanks so much. It means alot to me. There is no one else that I would rather level the entire store with than you!! I'm glad you're my friend.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Not Me!


I DID NOT neglect laundry so long that my husband finally declared that he was washing his own clothes. And he did.

I DID NOT wipe the spots off the front of Friday's uniform shirt so my son could wear it to school today.

(this is getting ridiculous)

I DID NOT climb back into bed this morning to moan & groan to my hubby about how cold it was outside. I did not put my cold feet on him & think it was funny- that would be insensitive.

I DID NOT convince him to wear long-johns to work today. He did not march back inside to take them off when we walked out & it actually was quite warm.

I DID NOT take the back roads to McDonalds because I didn't want someone I know to drive by & see me there. I'm supposed to be on a diet.

I DID NOT use my "spidey-sense" to find our way to a mall we've never been to before. The lady at the drugstore counter did not roll her eyes at me when I stopped to ask for directions. No, I was not lost- my spidey-sense brought me here!

(I AM NOT sweating right now because the heat is still on in my house.)

I AM NOT IN LOVE with "Not Me" Mondays!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Little Things, Big Things

This blog is coming directly to you from..... you guessed it....My New Laptop!! Yes, it's true! This one was totally free! I'm not kidding you! I'm so excited I can hardly stand it! (Can you tell by how many exclamation points I'm using?!) God is so amazing! He's alive!-in case you had any doubts. (Those of you who have not been following my blog must know that I'd asked God for one recently. See esp. last Monday's blog)
I got a call from one of my husband's customers saying that she'd cleaned out her closets to get ready for holiday company & she had some stuff I might like for our son: along with a laptop that wasn't "really worth mentioning because it's so slow...so, nevermind about that." NEVERMIND!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I tried to play it cool. "Oh, OK, I'll take a look at it."
Well, I certainly don't know what it is that I was supposed to be looking at, but I knew it was a laptop, & I KNEW it was an answer to prayer. I couldn't help but be excited! I wanted to blog right there! "Oh, yeah, the stuff for my son..." God is so awesome! (FYI: I'm not very good at playing it cool. Never take me car shopping.)
She wasn't kidding about this computer being slow, but I was willing to endure anything to be able to blog whenever my little heart desires. After I picked it up, my hubby & I took it to a computer store (yeah, my hubby's awesome, too) to see what they could do for it. When they opened it up they all gathered around it & laughed as if it should be next to the cross-eyed elephant in a circus act or something. "Hey, I'm proud of this thing." When I told them it was free they changed their tune & got right to work on making it like new. Turns out it had almost 40 viruses & a whole bunch of stuff on it that I didn't need! $29.99 later, it runs like a gem!

I don't know why God did this for me. I certainly don't deserve it. A laptop... let's face it... it certainly isn't up up there on the list of really important things. There are alot more urgent things in this life to be praying about. I love knowing, though, that He hears the small prayers that come from our hearts. Isaiah 62:4 just came to mind: "The Lord delights in you." I make God smile? Cool thought. I guess it's similar to the smiles I get hearing my son in his room having so much fun with the $.99 car I just gave him. The depth of love & delight that He has for me. It's simple, but so much bigger. I can't wrap my brain around it. But I'm glad for it. Thankyou, Lord, for the little/big things.

(I like this one, too)
Ephesians 3:18 & 19 "That you may be able to comprehend what is the breadth, & length, & depth, & height; and to know the love of Christ, which passes understanding, that you might be filled with all the fulness of God."

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Craziness

Ang, at Davisix, this one is for you. I thought you'd get a kick out of this: The other day I tried to put you on my "Blogs I Follow" list & what I got was Davisixxxxxxxx.

AAAAHHHH!

It was spanish so I couldn't read what it said but I'm pretty sure that all those X's couldn't have been good. It said he had one follower- I think that's me. I clicked the "hide my list" button so that noone would see that & think I followed porn. It took me a few days to realize that the little trash can symbol meant I could delete it. When you see YOURSELF on my "Blogs I Follow" list, you will know I got it right this time. He, He.

And for all of you who are reading this, make sure to check up on Ang at Davisix. (How do I link?) She is having a contest soon & knowing Ang it should be pretty good. Maybe it's those tampon slippers! =o)

Another Question: How do I change the time on my blog? It's 3 hours off. No, I really don't blog at 4am. I'm not that addicted. It seems like I had other problems with my blog but I can't think of what they are right now.

Do any of you get Migraines?I got one after our Thanksgiving trip & it has lasted for 4 days! UGH! My brain turns to mush & it hurts just to think.

That's why I haven't blogged much lately. I'm really not that boring. I wanted to tell you about my Thanksgiving, but by the time I get around too it'll be old-hat. I hate that I let such an important holiday go by without talking about it. (It's unusual for me to think that I didn't talk enough.) I did fill in my profile & added a few other things, so if you haven't checked it out yet then please do so. I have been tagged by Kelly at Our Family Ramblings, so I will be following up on that. I will be tagging some of you!!!!!

Oh, and make sure to pray for Shannon at Sunshine & Open Hearts, & Amy at Our Daily Blessing... Life. Both of them need our prayers & support right now. Check out their sites & drop them a note if you haven't already.

Well, I'll be back later. My mom is visiting me today. YEAH!! ( I can tell I'm feeling better today=o) )

Have a GREAT DAY!!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

To Shannon

I wanted to send a note to my BFF, Shannon, at Sunshine & Open Hearts. She's going through alot right now.


SHANNON, My heart is with you. I wish I was. I wish we could have tea, & cry together. But since I can't here is a little bit of my heart sent to you. Love, Jess

Monday, December 1, 2008

Patience


I bought a laptop!!


But then I returned it. Was it awesome? YES. So, what's the problem? I couldn't do it. As I was using it I felt rebuked. I knew in my heart that the Lord was asking me why I went out & bought a laptop when I already prayed for one. Oh, boy. It was hard to enjoy it.

Patience might be a virtue but it sure is difficult.

(I'd like to give 2 thumbs up to the people at my local Best Buy. They were awesome! They really could have been curt with me for returning the thing. I love cheerful cashiers!)